Final Rewards
by Lydianna
Summary: Giles helps Buffy to reconnect with the world after her resurrection but with some surprises from the powers that be Buffy gets more than she thought was possible out of her second chance at life. buffy/Giles pairing
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: Soooo…Giles is trying to help Buffy reconnect with the world after her resurrection and takes her out to the desert to do it.

Disclaimer: You know the drill, I'm not making any money from this.

Meditation

"So why are we going back to the crazy first slayer who tried to kill us in dreams and told me death was a gift?" she asked putting her bag in the back of the car. "And why do we have so much stuff?"

"We aren't necessarily going to speak to the first slayer, it is a place of power we are trying to contact any higher powers that may speak to us. Failing that there are several rituals that can be done in a place of power which will help ground you and perhaps reconnect you with the living." he explained. "We don't know how long it will take, hence the supplies."

"But Dawn..."

"Will be fine with Willow and Tara and the others for a couple of days Buffy, I assure you." he told her, gesturing for her to get in the car as he held the door open for her.

"Fine." she sighed.

She remained silent as they drove, it was hard to focus on much. She seemed to spend so much time now staring into nothingness. Maybe this trip was a good idea after all, maybe she could get back to normal so that her friends would stop looking at her with pity. They wanted her to be grateful. Grateful that she was ripped from heaven and slammed back on this cold, harsh earth. Brought back to life only to dig out of her own grave. She knew they meant well and wasn't really angry with them anymore but how could she be grateful?

"Buffy?" Giles asked after a while. "Did you want to stop for lunch?"

"I'm not really hungry." she replied quietly. "But if you want to then I don't mind."

"Well, the supplies I brought aren't exactly quality cuisine so I thought a treat before we get there, perhaps the next diner we pass? Even if you only have something small." he suggested.

"Sure." she agreed, not shifting her gaze from staring out of the window.

They stopped at the next diner true to his word and he had a deli sandwich and a coffee while she picked at a bowl of fries. She turned down dessert so they were back on the road shortly after.

"Alright, he we are." he said as they pulled over. He got out of the car and gathered the bags on the backseat. She took hers and then took one of his from him when she saw him struggling to fit them in his hands. "Buffy you don't-"

"Slayer remember, it's not like theyre heavy for me." she shrugged. They walked into the dessert together, this time she couldn't bring herself tk worry about getting lost and stuck in the dessert like she had the first time.

"Are you going to do the hokey pokey again?" she asked as he slowed down and stopped at a familiar rock formation.

"No, that was specific to slayer power." he replied, putting down the bags and making quick work of arranging a fire pit using dried brush and rocks. "This is a bit different. We'll get settled then start with meditation, if that doesn't work then we will move on to one of the rituals."

"Are we planning on lots of rituals?" she asked.

"No, but until we try meditation first we need not decide which ritual to try." he explained patiently. "Do you need a drink or anything before we get into it?"

"Nope, I'm good." she replied. "Am I supposed to do anything?"

"Here, you can light the fire while I form a circle around us and set up." he told her, handing her a box of matches.

"Yeah, let's make the unbearable heat of the desert more unbearable by lighting a fire." she muttered, doing as he asked.

He returned a while later and dropped back down to the ground where he was before. He set a bowl of mixed herbs to one side and lit some incense on the other and then appeared to be getting comfortable opposite her.

"Get comfortable and work on the basic meditation techniques we've used before." he told her. "After a while we each take a handful of the herbs and toss them into the flames. If we are lucky one or both of us will have some form of vision. I am hoping you will reach contact with the higher powers but don't try to think about it. Just breathe and clear your mind and we'll see what happens."

Buffy did as he instructed, it was harder to switch off than it used to be. It felt like switching off was nearly the same as being dead. It didn't help that often when she closed her eyes she kept getting the urge to open them to check that she wasn't in a coffin underground.

Giles watched his slayer for some time. It took her a long time to start to relax, he could see it. The way she suddenly tensed or twitched when she started to relax. Finally she seemed to still and he knew if she was going to have a chance it would be now.

"Open your eyes, take a handful of the herbs and throw them into the flames and then focus on the flames." he spoke quietly. She opened her eyes. It was far from dark but she could tell that time had passed as it wasn't as bright as before. She leant to take a handful of the herbs and he did the same before they both tossed their herbs into the fire and she stared at the flames.

Some time later she began to wonder if anything was going to happen. She could see in her peripheral vision that it had begun to grow dark and her backside was starting to ache from being sat in one position. That in itself was saying a lot since she'd been numb to nearly everything recently. She almost embraced the pain. Then the flames flashed. She wanted to blink, thinking her eyes were playing tricks on her but the next flash was brighter.

Her whole vision went white. Then she saw an archway ahead. She wasn't in the desert now, she wasn't even sat down. Odd.

She walked slowly over to and then through the archway. The next place she entered was grey and she saw three figures ahead.

"Hello?" she asked. "Are you-"

"It matters not who we are." a woman's voice spoke. "It only matters who you are."

"I'm the slayer." she replied.

"The slayer is what you are not who you are." a male voice spoke. "Who you are is up to you."

"Right..." Buffy murmured.

"You are here because you feel lost, you do not belong anymore." he spoke.

"I don't." she replied honestly.

"That is up to you." he said cryptically.

"Apparently not." she muttered.

"You were taken away from your final reward." the female voice spoke again. "You were brought back by unnatural forces."

"My friends." Buffy nodded.

"The time line has been altered. It is up to you if you wish to change it." the female said.

"Altered by me being here? Are you saying I should've stayed dead?" she asked.

"Altered before that. The key. Destiny was changed when the key was transformed." the man said.

"Dawn." Buffy breathed.

"The key was supposed to remain in energy form. The God Glorificus was destinied to find it and open the portal. You were destined to stop it by destroying the key." the man continued. "But instead the key was transformed, altering time, changing the past. You stopped Glorificus as fate intended but instead of destroying the key you gave your life in exchange. You were not meant to die that day."

"I couldn't let my sister die." she replied through gritted teeth.

"You feel detached from the world now, you have felt the paradise that awaits you and now the earth is like ashes." the female spoke again. "For your sacrifice we will allow you to undo what was done."

"Undo it? Wait, which part?" she asked.

"Your friends brought you back. We are willing to undo what they did and allow you to return to paradise." the female said.

"Be dead again?" she asked. For a long moment she recalled the blissful warm feeling of the place she was being offered. So safe. Compared to the Sunnydale that she came back to when she first returned. "What happens to my world?"

"It will be as it was before you returned." the man told her.

"But...demons had over run Sunnydale...my friends..." she said quietly, more talking to herself than the strange figures opposite her. "Dawn."

"It will not he your duty to save them any longer." the man replied simply.

"But...no new slayer will be called until Faith dies. There won't be anyone to protect them or anyone else." she spoke up.

"No." they replied. "But it won't be your concern."

"They are my concern. I can't leave the hellmouth without a slayer indefinitely." she said shaking her head. "Giles brought me here to reconnect with the world of the living not die again."

"If you take our offer then the watcher will never have returned to this land. He will remain where he was. He will mourn you as if you never returned." the female said. "You can go on to your reward and be reunited with your mother and other loves ones."

"But...he..." she frowned unable to articulate her thoughts. She couldn't leave the world unprotected. Her friends were still in it. She died to allow Dawn the chance to live and she had the feeling that if she left now that something very bad would happen.

"Have you decided?" the man asked.

"I can't go." she replied. "Someone has to protect the world and...until Faith dies and a new slayer is called I'm still on duty..."

"You would give up your chance for paradise for a world you feel dead in?" the female asked.

"Yes." she nodded. "I gave up my life for Dawn to live, I'd better protect the world she lives in."

"Very well." the man and woman said together leaving the third figure still silent. "If that is your wish."

"Is-Is that wrong?" she asked.

"You have shown that you are willing to sacrifice yourself for others and now you have shown that you put the world and the people in it above your own happiness. For this you will be rewarded." the female spoke.

"Rewarded how?" she asked slowly.

"Wait. All will become clear before the moon reaches it's highest peak tomorrow." she said.

"Wait here?" she asked. The figures simply nodded. Her vision was white again before she knew what had happened and she felt herself falling.

"Buffy?" a voice called. She focused on the voice, it was familiar. She opened her eyes to see the familiar face of her watcher staring down at her. The sky above them was black now and she realised that she was now led on the ground.

"Well that answered all my questions. Not." she mumbled sitting up.

"I take it you saw something." he said as he helped her up. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Yeah, thanks." she replied still feeling a little dazed. She took the water bottle from him and drank a few mouthfuls. "Weird people. Three of them, they spoke to me. Actually only two of them spoke. They...they said I could die again if I wanted."

"D-die?" he stammered in disbelief. "Lord Buffy please tell me you didn't feel so bad that you accepted."

"No, I didn't." she replied quietly. "Not for me though. I want to go back there...where its safe and the fighting is over. But no new slayer was called when I died. Unless Faith dies there won't be another called. I couldn't leave you all in danger."

She found herself immediately grabbed and held tightly by Giles. He held her as if he thought she would vanish if he let go. She slid her arms around his waist and let him hold her.

"You knew didn't you?" she asked after a while. "That's why you were so angry with Will."

"Oh there were several reasons to be angry with her but yes, I knew." he replied. "You're the slayer Buffy, only those who use their gift for evil do not receive their final rest." He pulled away from her and moved them back towards the fire to sit.

"Reward. They called it my final reward...when I said I'd go back because there was no one else to...slay, they said I'd be rewarded but they didn't say what. They said to wait and all would become clear before the moon peaks tomorrow." she told him. "Mean anything to you?"

"Well, no. Other than the waiting until tomorrow part but you're right that didn't answer many questions." he replied. "In any case I believe we should settle down for the night, there's a tent if you want or just sleeping bags on the ground if you'd rather. That stars are very clear out here, I think I should like to look at them tonight. I'll get some supplies out and cook us something for supper shall I?"

"Oh um...I guess so, thanks." she said blinking back to reality. She couldn't stop thinking about the choice she had made. She had been so close to peace. She had been so tempted.

She remained silent as she got out a sleeping bag and rolled it out on the ground near the fire and sat on it. Giles passed her a plastic plate with some bread and warm beans on it.

"Am I a bad person for nearly wishing to be dead?" she asked him after some time of silence.

"It doesn't make you a bad person Buffy." he assured her.

"I...I wanted to die. I wanted to go back. My friends brought me back to life and I wanted to die all over again." she whispered. "That's ungrateful isn't it?"

"Buffy...you experienced something so special and then were brought back here in a rather abrupt way. They brought you back to life and left you to find your own way out of your own grave and back home. I- I wasn't even here. I should've been here." he said shaking his head. "My duty was to protect the hellmouth with my slayer and I should have continued to do so with or without you but instead I left. I abandoned my post; you are here again through choice to fulfill your duty. That most certainly does not make you a bad person."

"Why did you leave?" she asked.

"Because it hurt too much to stay." he replied.

"You didn't leave after..." she trailed off realising it probably wasn't a good idea to bring up such painful memories. She remembered how hard it had been for a while after Miss Calendar was killed.

"No, I didn't." he replied simply. "And after Angel, you came back, after being offered heaven on a platter you still came back."

"I had friends that needed me." she said softly.

"And I had you." he said. "You needed me. I like to think you still need me sometimes."

"I still need you." she whispered, shuffling close enough to lean against him. "Do you need me?"

"Always." he told her fondly.

"Then I guess we'll have to keep each other here and be needy together." she shrugged. Giles couldn't help but smile, that sounded more like his Buffy already.

After eating they cleared up and ready to settle for the night.

"I'm going to take some of this back to the car. I trust you'll be alright for a moment?" he spoke.

"Yes, I'm sure I'll be fine." she waved him off. "In fact I'll get a bit more wood for the night shall I? Looks like a broken bit of tree over that way."

"Oh yes jolly good idea that, don't get lost though." he replied heading off in the direct of the car.

Buffy gathered a few larger pieces of wood and returned to their camp. She realised that she still had to change before bed and got her sleepwear out of her bag. She looked around nervously, she didn't want to just strip and change because she didn't know how long Giles would be. Her eyes landed on her sleeping bag.

When Giles returned to the camp having left the dirty plates in the trunk of the car and making use of his distance from Buffy to change into some lounge pants and a t-shirt to sleep in, he couldn't help but furrow his brow in confusion.

"Buffy what on earth are you doing?" he asked the wriggling sleeping bag.

"Changing." she replied as she continued to wriggle about. She triumphantly pulled her jeans out of the sleeping bag having finally pulled up her sweat pants.

"How about I just turn around and you tell me when you're done?" he suggested.

"Well not all of us thought of handy excuses to disappear to the car to change." she pouted as he turned away, allowing her to wriggle her top half free of the sleeping back and finish changing quickly. "Ah ha, done."

With that they settled down to sleep for the night.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: Ok, here's part two. Hopefully there aren't too many mistakes but it there are it's because my laptop has died and I'm now using my windows phone to write on which is a pain in the butt!

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the show, characters or anything else recognizable and I make no profit from this. Only happiness from reviews and virtual cookies.

Reward

They woke early due to the amount of light out in the open. The fire had gone out but the rocks were still warm where it had been. Buffy sat up but stayed in her sleeping bag. Now she faced another problem, there were no bathrooms in the desert. Did she have to ask Giles where to go? 'God that's embarrassing...maybe if I just sneak off quick and go behind some rocks...no I can't just vanish without saying anything he'd worry.'

"Um...Giles?" she asked not looking at him. "There don't happen to be any bathroom in the desert by any chance?"

"No, no bathrooms." he replied holding back a laughed. "But there's an outhouse back by the car if you don't feel comfortable going outside."

"Giles, how many women do you know of that would feel perfectly comfortable going to the bathroom in the desert?" she asked bluntly.

"Fair point, although it's not like most men would relish going in the open either." he replied. "I suggest then that we pack up here and head back to the car where we can change among other things and then return with only what we need for the day, after all the car is only a ten minute walk away."

She agreed and reluctantly climbed out of her sleeping bag to pack up her things and follow him back to the car.

"It could be difficult trying to change in the outhouse as it isn't well lit and its somewhat small." he commented.

"You think?" she retorted eyeing the tiny shed.

"So I suggest using the car to change, not exactly privacy as we would wish it but enough to prevent passers by from noticing anything." he suggested.

"Right. So...I'll um be right back." she said awkwardly putting her things in the trunk of the car and walking over to the tiny shack. She wrinkled her nose at the dark and dusty inside. It was nothing more than a large hole in the ground with a wooden seat and shed built around it. Lovely. Still, better than nothing. She was grateful to have tissues with her as there was a distinct lack of toilet roll and plumbing. She made do as quickly as possible and came out to see Giles still in his sleepwear leant over some running water.

"Sure, there's a random tap but not a proper bathroom." she muttered heading over to him. He appeared to be rinsing off the plates and things from yesterday using a rather crude looking tap. Still she supposed it was better than leaving the plates to get moldy.

"I wouldn't drink this water however, it doesn't look the cleanest." he commented. "Did you want to change?"

She walked over to the car and rummaged in her bag until she found some clean clothes. Having found them she climbed into the car and shut the door hoping it would be enough to hide her modesty as she changed. Once she climbed back out of the car fully dressed she spotted Giles stood a little way off looking out at the desert.

"All done, your turn." she smiled feeling much better now that she was dressed.

She couldn't help but giggle as he hunched over and climbed into the back of the car.

The car shook a little as he moved around in the back awkwardly and she giggled again as he climbed out still fastening his belt. For some reason the image of his hands on his belt seemed very intimate and lingered with her.

"Well that isn't an experience I'd like to repeat any time soon." he commented moving tk the trunk of the car and rummaging through the bags. "We'll just take the bare essentials back with us for now I think."

"Sure." she nodded. "Why is incense essential?"

"Because the, well, whoever it was that you spoke to may have told you some things but they didn't really help you feel reconnected." he replied. "I thought that since we are waiting here anyway we might try the meditation again or perhaps one of the rituals."

"Oh, sure I guess if we're just sat around anyway." she shrugged.

So that was how she found herself sat in front of a light fire in the heat of the desert and wishing she had worn shorts. She sat trying to reach an inner calm while trying to ignore the sweat slowly rolling down her back.

"It's not working." she sighed after a long time opening her eyes.

"Very well, we shall try something else. There are a few things in this book that we can try." he said passing her an open book. "If you read these two and then I will direct you to another two and you can decide which you would like to try."

She obediently read the passages in front of her and when she had finished he took the book back to turn to a different page and let her continue until she had read all the possible options.

"This one." she said handing him back the book.

"Are you certain?" he asked. "It may show you things about yourself you do not wish to see or may not even know about."

"I- Giles one of my biggest fears has been that I came back missing something, my soul. Like I left that part of me behind where I was and only came back as me but...less. I need to see it." she explained.

"Buffy I assure you that you aren't missing anything." he said covering her hand and squeezing slightly. "I will set it up for you and act as your anchor but you will need to perform the chant."

"Um...alright. I can do that..." she replied uncertainly.

"It's in Latin but I will say the phrases and get you to copy them a few times, they aren't long. Just two phrases that you repeat until it works." he said. "It takes a lot of strength so I'll need to anchor you in case you need additional magic. It should be easier since we're doing it at a place of power but you haven't done much in the way of magic before so it might feel strange or tiring to you."

"Okie dokey." she nodded. She watched as he arranged a few things and they moved away from the fire. As he did this he kept getting her to repeat after him the words she would have to say.

"Sit there and I shall complete the circle." he instructed. He drew a circle around them closing it behind him as he stepped inside and sat on the ground in front of her. He proceeded to light the candles he had placed in the circle and then a brief chant to bless their circle. "Ready?" he asked. She nodded and he held out both of his hands, scooting as close as he could without jogging the bowl of water in between them. "Take my hands, now focus on the water and begin chanting. Don't stop repeating it until it either works or I tell you to stop."

So she began saying the words that he had taught her, after she had said them a few times she felt more confident in them and felt Giles squeeze her hands reassuringly. The water rippled in front of her as she kept chanting and then it glowed.

As she began to see images in the water she stopped chanting. She saw Dawn, her holding Dawn's hand to hers telling her they were the same. A memory that seemed so old now. Then she saw herself, standing with a crossbow obviously about to battle an enemy. She saw her mother holding her hand...it was almost like a memory only she was seeing herself like a movie. She was only about nine in the memory. Next she saw a picture of her, Willow and Xander in a frame. Her favourite picture from her first year here. She saw Willow casting a spell, her hair glowing white, it wasn't a memory that she recognised. Then she saw Xander leaping in front of her to protect her. She felt her eyes sting with tears. How could she be mad at them for bringing her back? They had meant well. Then she saw herself doing dishes, turning back to talk to someone. She was smiling. She didn't recognise the house. Was this the future or just want she wanted in the future.

Then tears began to fall and she felt Giles squeeze her hands again, letting her know he was there. The image changed from her laughing and talking in a kitchen to another that wasn't a real memory. Giles. Looking down at her like she was the most precious thing in the world, she had seen him look at her only a handful of times in the past. What made her realise that this wasn't a memory though was the fact that they were both led on a bed, fully dressed and not doing anything exactly but she got the distinct impression that it was an intimate scene none the less.

It made her realise with startling clarity that if in all these images rushing past her mind that continued even now didn't include Riley or more importantly didn't include Angel then...Angel no longer had a piece of her heart and soul. How much must it have crushed her friends that she had ran to him the moment she was back? The images had continued with her thoughts and then began to repeat getting faster and faster until suddenly she blinked and they were gone. She dropped the hands holding hers and grabbed the bowl shaking it a little in an attempt to get the images back. She wanted to stare into those happy thoughts forever. Her smiling like her entire world was complete.

"Buffy." Giles voice called gently. She dropped the bowled as if she'd been burnt and stared up at him, tears still falling down her cheeks. "Good Lord Buffy, what is it?" She saw the dread creeping onto his face and shook her head.

"You didn't see?" she asked softly.

"No, why was it that bad?" he asked.

"No, nothing bad not really." she replied wiping her eyes. "I saw so many things...things that aren't real, memories of things that are..."

"So it worked then? You saw into the depths of your soul?" he asked gently, taking her hand.

"It worked." she nodded.

"Then why don't you go and make yourself comfortable, have a drink and something to eat, while I clear this away?" he suggested. She nodded and shakily got to her feet and moved back towards the fire which had now died down considerably from being left untended.

She couldn't figure out what she felt. Everything was so overwhelming but then again the while reason for this trip was to reconnect with herself and the world, to feel things again. Now she felt so much at once she felt just as lost. Were the things she saw that weren't memories going to happen? Was that her future?

"Giles?" she croaked out when he came back over to the fire also. "The things I saw. Were they real?"

"Well, some mostly likely, others perhaps not. It's more to do with your emotions, your thoughts and dreams. It's a very personal thing Buffy. What you saw was essentially a glimpse at part of your own soul, the essence of what makes you who you are. Although it probably had focus on why you're here, what drives you to keep going because that was the answer you wanted." he explained. "It's personal, which is why it was for your eyes only. It is also ever changing. If you were to look again in a years time the things you see may be completely different, a bit different or exactly the same."

"So...it wasn't the future I was seeing?" she asked quietly.

"It could be." he replied honestly. "It is a possible future, not one set in stone or a hope that you have for the future perhaps. I rather suppose that how much it changes depends on how you act upon it or whether you turn away from it."

"I saw you all." she smiled to herself. "Like a big movie...or maybe the trailer thing before the movie. You're the reason I'm here, that I keep going and the reason I turned down the offer yesterday. All of you..."

"Which to me says that you aren't a bad person at all. I dare say it makes you a very good person, to have so much of you affected by those around you. You may make selfish choices on occasion but over all you live most of your life for others." he said affectionately.

"Selfish like running off to see Angel?" she asked sadly.

"Well...it probably wasn't the best time to go but we did understand, your love for Angel although impossible is a part of you and we understood that you would naturally want to reconnect with him as it were." he replied. "Perhaps it would have been better to have waited a few days though so that you had some sort of plan as far as Dawn and your lives were concerned but you'd been through something traumatic and would obviously want to be with the person closest to your heart."

"Then why didn't I see him?" she asked furrowing her brow.

"In LA?" he asked not following.

"Now, you were there, and Dawn and Xander and Willow. I even saw passing glimpses of Tara and Oz and Anya...but no Angel and no Riley." she explained. "Riley I get, I didn't love him. I wanted to but I didn't and in their own way I do love Tara and Anya and Oz...although perhaps it was more that they were there in the memories that I saw...the feeling of the memories themselves...now I sound like you. Anyway...Angel. Why no Angel?"

"Perhaps because logically you know that there can be no future for the two of you?" he suggested.

"Giles...I think maybe I don't love him any more." she whispered. "I know that when I look back on before I wonder why on earth I didn't just kill him sooner."

"Hindsight is a fine thing, you couldn't have known." he said stiffly not really wanting to remember how things had been during that time.

"No but...now I know that if he were here and I had to choose between his life and yours I'd choose yours. I don't know how I know or why but I just know. I can live without Angel, I can't live without you." she told him honestly. He didn't reply for a long time. He couldn't describe or explain the warmth that filled him knowing that finally after everything they had been through he had such a place in his slayers heart.

"Then I would agree with you, you have most probably fallen out of love with Angel." he said.

"Go ahead; I know you want to be happy about that. You and Xander aren't exactly big Angel fans." she told him, nudging him with her shoulder.

"Buffy, I can't say I don't feel...relieved that Angel no longer brings you both pain and temptation but my personal feelings on him really don't matter." he sighed, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes. "It does make me happy to know that you do hold me in some good regard given our somewhat up and down history of course."

"Good reg- Giles! I love you, history or no history. It isn't like at least half of it if not more wasn't my fault." she told him. He opened his mouth to speak but see held up a hand to stop him. "No, history over, forgotten. We're here now and we're good so...you know let's leave it good."

They remained in silence for a while longer before he stood up.

"I'm going to fetch more water from the car, it's frightfully hot." he said. "Do you want anything?"

"Coffee wouldn't hurt but since we're out of that just water. Oh and if you happened to bring back a bag of potato chips then that wouldn't suck." she grinned.

Buffy found herself beginning to worry as time passed and Giles didn't return. It was only around a ten minute walk to the car perhaps a little more in the heat. So it shouldn't have taken him much longer than half an hour to fetch water. Wishing she had a watch so that she knew how long he had actually been gone she decided she'd go find him.

Find him she did. Stood having a very involved conversation with a couple by the car.

"I'm not sure I understand this." she heard her watcher say rubbing his eyes and placing his glasses on the roof of the car.

"Understand what?" she asked joining them.

"Buffy, sorry about the delay." he told her. "Something rather...unusual appears to be going on."

"God Lord," the other man breathed. "Then it's true, you're Buffy Summers...and you're alive."

"You didn't tell the watchers council that I'm not dead?" she asked Giles in disbelief.

"No, I did actually. However there seems to be some misunderstanding never the less." he said. "They seem to be under the impression that you must have died again because it would appear that a new slayer has been called."

"A new slayer? Faith?" Buffy asked looking at Giles in horror.

"Is apparently still fine, the first thing they checked apparently as technically you already passed the torch as it were to Kendra and then Faith so no new slayer was called when you died a second time." he explained.

"And they're sure? It wasn't delayed or anything?" she asked.

"As this time I rather think not." he replied. "Buffy, this is Frederick Mason and his slayer Harriet."

"An honor to meet you Miss Summers, I must say that you've ruffled quite a few feathers in your time." the other watcher said holding out his hand. Buffy cautiously shook it and looked to Giles.

"He's Wesley." she commented dryly.

"Don't take any offence Frederick, Americans take a bit of getting used to." Giles grinned putting a fond hand on his slayers shoulder.

"None taken Rupert, although I hear you've been fitting in just fine." the other watcher laughed.

"You kidding?" Buffy laughed. "He's still all stuffy and stuttering and English. Just with less tweed.". The other slayer burst into laughter much to Buffy's delight.

"We aren't all stuffy, just the oldies who are a bit stuck in their ways." Harriet smiled. Buffy noted the British accent. "Mostly anyone under twenty is OK."

"God, I guess my time really is up then." Buffy pouted. "Giles am I old?"

"Yes my dear, for a slayer you are and I couldn't be more proud of that." he said gently stroking her face. "Do you know how many slayers make it past twenty?"

"I'm going to go with not many." she guessed.

"No, probably less than a quarter of them make it past twenty." he told her.

"And only four slayers on the council's record have ever made it past twenty five so a new slayer being called is good news for you." Frederick added.

"I'm not afraid to die." Buffy told the man boldly. "I've died twice and I'm still here. There may have been another slayer called but I still feel like a slayer so I don't think my retirement is here just yet."

"I-I wasn't implying anything by that Miss Summers, I meant no offence." the new watcher said hastily.

"Anyway, this is all rather unusual. I believe research is needed on the matter." Giles said quickly changing the subject.

"So if they thought I was dead how did the happen to find us?" Buffy asked suddenly.

"Ran out of petrol didn't we?" Harriet said, gesturing to a car at the other side of the main road. "Everything over here is further apart. We were heading over here to see if the owner of this car had any water and knew where the closest petrol station was."

"Well...that's a creepy coincidence." Buffy murmured.

"It is quite the coincidence but I actually know Frederick so he isn't an imposter." Giles assured her. "But as I said, research will hopefully shed some light on the situation."

"Well we can't go anywhere until tonight, we're still...waiting..." she trailed off.

"God heavens, you don't think-"

"That's exactly what I'm thinking." Buffy nodded. "My reward is a new watcher and slayer delivered right to me with a shiny bow."

"Well there's only one way to find out." he said.

"Back into the desert we go." Buffy sighed.

"Do you get the feeling we're missing something here?" Frederick asked almost to himself.

"What you mean the half of a conversation we just got?" his slayer asked before following the other watcher and slayer into the desert.

"How does he know what she's thinking?" her watcher mused as he followed her.

"You're supposed to be the watcher. Use your eyes." the slayer muttered. In a few seconds she had seen how close Buffy and her watcher were. It was like they were connected. She wondered if she'd have that in five years time with her watcher. Although looking at the pair ahead of her she kind of doubted it.

"This is a place of power." Frederick spoke as they stopped. "You plan to consult higher powers?"

"Exactly." Giles nodded. "Harriet, have you done meditative training before? Perhaps if you and Buffy were to try together?"

"Um...not much but I can try right?" the younger girl said. Buffy looked at the new slayer and really looked at her. She was older than Buffy had been when she was called but younger than she was now, perhaps around eighteen but it could he hard to tell with girls who often looked older than they were. She had pale skin and reddish brown curls that were pulled back into a ponytail. She wore jeans and a vest top and looked pretty normal all round, although after Faith and Kendra anyone that was either not an unfeeling slaying machine or insane was going to seem normal.

So the two slayers sat opposite one another staring at the fire. The two watchers also opposite one another, Giles repeated what he had done before and tossed the herbs into the fire. It didn't take as long this time. After only a few minutes of staring at the flames light blinded her and she found herself standing facing the familiar archway.

"Weird." a voice said next to her and Buffy realised that this time Harriet and come with her.

"Come on, this way." she said, leading the way through the archway to face the figures from before.

"You have returned." the female voice spoke. "You wish to know if you are being replaced?". Buffy didn't reply so the figure continued. "Your reward is the choice. There is another slayer to fight for the world either with you, apart from you or instead of you. You may ignore your calling and your strength will gradually fade with each passing year until you live out your remaining life as a normal human woman, or you can carry on as you are but with the assistance of another slayer. You cannot pass the gift on again once you have died but we can. Your world is the freedom of choice."

"How did she get from England to here in less than a day?" Buffy asked curiously.

"It wasn't a day for me. I've been active for five days." Harriet frowned.

"We are the powers that be, time means little to us." the female shrugged. The figures turned and the moment the room was empty Buffy felt a falling sensation and sure enough found herself sprawled on the ground again.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Notes: Yay, I got reviews! Reviews make me very happy. This chapter is all about the choices Buffy now has and how she makes them.

Disclaimer: I don't own it and make no money from it.

Choices

"They can reorder time but can't given me a softer landing." she muttered.

"Reorder time?" she heard her watcher asked offering her a hand. He helped her up and she remained stood close to him after he released her. She took the time to consider him before looking over to the other slayer and watcher to confirm that Harriet was alright.

"That powers that be played with time so that we only had to wait a day for them to arrive. She's my gift alright." she grinned.

"So they sent them?" he frowned.

"My gift is freedom, from what I understand anyway." she explained. "I can be the slayer or not, I get to choose."

"And Harriet?" Frederick asked.

"She's a slayer no matter what. She's been called." Buffy replied. "They said that I can stop slaying if I want or that we can work together or even go separate ways and both be slayers."

"Your reward, your choice." Harriet shrugged looking to Buffy.

"Well, my first choice is getting back to indoor plumbing and a nice shower." Buffy piped up. "Then we can decide. Either way I think its only right to at least help the new girl get into the swing of things don't you think?"

They dropped Harriet and her watcher off at their hotel to check in and arranged to meet them tomorrow morning to discuss the situation. It wasn't until then that she realised Giles had barely spoken.

"What's wrong?" she asked him quietly.

"Nothing, nothing is wrong Buffy." he replied.

"Then why the no talking sad face?" she asked.

"It is not sad face, it is thoughtful face." he replied indignantly. "Buffy nothing is wrong, in fact something is right. Buffy ever since I met you I have wanted nothing more than to protect you from the inevitable end of a slayer and now you have that chance."

"Giles...I haven't decided what I'm going to do." she said softly. Did he think she could just give everything up and run off to a new life.

"Buffy, I know you wont just stop fighting the fight however much I might wish it. But at least you can share your burden and find some time for a semi-normal life for yourself and for Dawn." he replied taking her hand. She stared at their hands and savoured the warmth and comfort his touch brought her. She understood now what she had seen in the ritual. No one would ever understand her or care for her like this man would and he was the man she compared all others too and the man she cared about more than any other. The thought should have felt awkward but it didn't, picturing him in the romantic role in her life was easy.

"Can we go to yours? I want to make my decision before telling the others." she said. "I love them, but the more opinions I have from everyone the harder its going to be."

"Of course." he nodded. He drove them to his new place, he hadn't even finished unpacking but he'd been living there for two weeks now so the essentials were out. It wasn't quite the same as walking into his old place but she relished the quiet of the place.

"I haven't been here yet." she commented. "Why haven't I been here yet?"

"You haven't exactly been yourself Buffy." he replied. "Why don't you go and take a shower and I will see what I can rustle up to eat?"

"Thanks." she nodded, looking in her bag for some clean clothes.

"The bathroom is first door on the left." he told her, gesturing up the stairs. "Oh and there's a cupboard with towels right next to it. A-and there should be soap and things on the shelf in the bathroom."

"Ok, bathroom upstairs, towels in closet and soap in bathroom. Got it." she grinned. "Giles, no matter what...I'd like you to stay."

"Stay?" he asked.

"I know you went back to England and started to pick your own life back up and I cant make you drop it but I just wanted to know that...slayer or not I'd like it if you stayed. I need- no that's not the right word. I want you to be part of my life."

"I hope I'll always be part of your life Buffy." he croaked as she headed up the stairs. He knew what she was saying and it felt good to hear it. For a while in the past he had wondered about his role in the group. He was on the sidelines and only remembered when trouble came. It was nice to know that she wanted him around whether she needed him or not.

She came down some time later to find him dishing up plates of sandwiches. He couldn't help a slight possessive thrill at seeing her in his home still wet from the shower as if she belonged here.

"Feeding an army there watcher-mine?" she smiled.

"I didn't know what you'd like. Help yourself, I'm just going to shower quickly." he told her. "Make yourself at home.". He called down the stairs as he went.

Buffy picked up a sandwich from the plate and wondered around the living room. There was a stack of boxes in one corner of the room; he had obviously had some of his things shipped back here from England since he had arrived with only a few suitcases. Did that mean that he intended to hang around?

"They were due to be shipped to England once I had secure a lease but when I came back here I canceled the shipment." He explained. She had been so deep in thought that she hadn't heard him on the stairs or enter the front room until he spoke, not very good for a slayer. Then again she'd been so out of it recently that it was hardly surprising. She'd been going through the motions but she hadn't really been trying.

Her eyes followed him as he headed towards the counter to pick up a sandwich of his own. His hair damp and skin glowing from the shower, how had she never realised this attraction before? It wasn't like she hadn't realised that he was a man before.

The realizations had come gradually of course, at first he was a stuffy English guy trying to force a destiny on her that she didn't want, then he was a teacher and mentor and then a father figure and role model. When she left high school all of that changed. That first year after High school she learnt that he was a man, that he was a friend and then that he was actually a rather handsome, decent man that she began to compare others to and finally that she cared about him deeply. The attraction was recent. When she had come back only to find him gone that world had seemed wrong, it was incomplete. When he had appeared in the magic box that day it was the first time she had felt a spark of happiness since returning, his touch had been the first that had felt warm and good to her.

Seeing his image in her soul had opened her eyes to why that was, why he was so important to her. She imagined now that they probably would have gotten there eventually either way but that she had seen him that way, now that she had seen a glimpse of what could be…she didn't really want to wait for it to happen at some point In the distant future. She wanted it now, or at least soon.

"Buffy, is something wrong?" Giles asked, noticing her staring and her silence. He feared for a moment that she was in one of her lifeless trances that she had been having often as of late but she didn't have that glazed over look, instead she seemed deep in thought. She moved over to him and he was surprised to find she kept moving until she stood only a foot from him, staring up at him with a curious look on her face. "Buff-" He found himself cut off when her fists gripped his sweater and pulled his head down to meet hers.

He remained frozen with his lips against hers for a moment, not really sure if it was real or not. He felt her lips slowly brushing against his and automatically responded, after that it was instinctive. Their mouths fused and their tongues explored as they lost themselves in feeling. When they separated he looked down to see Buffy's eyes still closed before she opened them and focused on his lips for a moment before meeting his gaze.

"Buffy?" he enquired, looking at her for some sign of her thoughts.

"Can we…I…" She stepped back with a sigh. "I don't know what I'm trying to say."

"Then take your time." He told her gently.

"It's just...you're Giles. I mean, obviously you know who you are…um…" she winced, this wasn't going well. "Right, here's the thing; I don't know when I started doing it all I know is that I did it with Riley so at least since then…I compare every guy I meet to you. Obviously they aren't you and they never measure up and I only just realised that I am never going to meet anyone more right for me than you are. I love you and I find you attractive and so…I thought I'd see if there were you know…sparks."

"Sparks?" he clarified before realizing that she had just told him that she was attracted to him. He flushed a little and searched for the right words. "Buffy, I don't want you to ever settle for anyone-"

"Stop." She cut him off. "Not settling, no way settling. Giles didn't you hear me, I've met other guys, I've dated other guys and you're better than every one of them. How is that settling? I know you love me and I love you even if at the moment we aren't in love romantically. All I want to know is if you feel attracted to me and if you'd be willing to try…Giles?" she asked, after he remained silent. She felt his arm slide around her waist and guide her closer to him before he lowered his head and kissed her. The connection was instant this time, neither holding back. She whimpered slightly as he pulled away, keeping the kiss brief.

"Sparks?" he asked again looking completely bewildered.

"Definitely." she breathed leaning up to kiss him again. They clung to each other for some time, reveling in the embrace. Slowly she felt him withdraw, ended their kisses with one last chaste press of his lips before moving his hands to her shoulders and stepping back.

"Buffy, I don't-"

"Don't you dare tell me that was nothing Giles." she said quietly shaking her head and stepping backwards.

"No Buffy, it did." he said quickly, noticing the hurt look on her face. "I'm just trying to explain that perhaps whatever this is should be discussed after you've made some decisions regarding everything else. You said yourself that you didn't want other people making the choices harder for you and I think that whatever this is, it could affect your judgment and so I would suggest waiting until after you have decided what to do about Harriet and your life in general before we have this conversation."

"You have to go all sensible on me don't you?" she pouted. Then her lips twitched at the corners slightly. "Fine, you have a point the conversation can wait but I'm still going to sneak smoochies off you when I can." With that she leant around him to grab another sandwich and went to sit on the couch leaving her watcher somewhat flustered at the counter.

"This seems bigger than your last place." she mused randomly.

"Oh well, prices in Sunnydale have dropped considerably since I first moved here and I seem to recall having my home taken over on a regular basis so planned accordingly." he explained. "I still own my old place but it has been sublet and it would be very rude to kick the new tenants out not long after they moved in."

"I'm sorry. You've moved around more times than a tennis ball recently." she sighed.

"Buffy it wasn't your fault, none of it." he told her firmly. "Although I should probably organise my flat back in England being sublet as well so that I can keep paying the rent on this place. I have the money of course but still, there's no point leaving an empty flat sat around making no money."

"So...you're staying?" she asked.

"For the moment yes." he nodded.

"For the moment as in six months or for the moment as in until I die again?" she asked bluntly.

"Buffy, I didn't run back to England to pick up my life where I left off before I met you." he retorted. "I left because it was too painful to stay. Part of me still feels like I need to check you're really alive when I wake up in the morning and that I didn't just dream it so I don't see a return trip to England anytime soon."

"I didn't- I didn't mean to snap at you." she apologised. "Its just when I...came back, you weren't here and it felt wrong."

"I imagine it felt just as wrong as it did for me being here without you around to torment me and yet make my life infinitely more exciting at the same time." he smiled.

"What did you do after I died?" she asked quietly. "I mean, I know you left but...I haven't really asked anyone what happened when I wasn't here."

"Tara called the ambulance while I made some attempt at resuscitating you but it was more a foolish hope that proved a lot less effective than Xander's attempt at it. The medics said that the closest they could guess was some form of heart failure, there was no problem with you. You were just dead. Tara and Willow took Dawn home and I went to the hospital to take care of the paperwork. After I left I wrote a very thorough report for the council since someone once told me that it was very inconvenient to not have a proper account of slayers last battles. Then I got exceedingly drunk and remained that way on and off for about two weeks. Eventually Xander of all people sorted me out and we carried on as best we could without you, using the Buffybot to make the vampires and demons believe that you were still around of course and eventually I realised that it would be best if I left Sunnydale behind and try to distance myself. Only to get a phone call not long after arriving that you were in fact miraculously alive again."

"Giles..." she whispered holding back her tears. "I-I love you."

"And I love you." he replied bending to brush a kiss across her forehead. "There's a spare room upstairs, you should go and rest." She stared at him for a moment, wanting to hold him or cry on him, anything to take away her pain and his but she knew that he was trying to be strong for her. She felt both sad and grateful at that. He should be allowed to be upset too and she could see that he was but he was right, she had other decisions that needed making for now.

"That's probably a good idea." she said at last. "I'll um...early night. Thanks."

It didn't turn out to be an early night at all. She lie there most of the night thinking, her brain kept replaying the images she had seen in the water. She wondered if she could truly find the happiness that she saw seen. It seemed like happiness seemed so far away from her, out of reach...especially when her life was surrounded by death and darkness.

It didn't have to be any more though...a new slayer had arrived. Three active slayers at once, pretty unheard of. Was Harriet the answer? She couldn't just stop slaying and ignore all responsibility but it certainly wouldn't help to lighten the load. Perhaps working with the new girl and gradually letting her take the responsibility was the answer? What would she have done to have another slayer to show her the ropes when she was learning.

Harriet appeared to have had previous training but coming from England, the home of the council she had probably been spotted as a potential slayer years ago. Buffy had managed to slip under the radar and whilst it meant that she didn't have training and was in for a shock it also meant she was more open minded and had qualities that other slayers may not have had. She wouldn't still be here if not for her friends. Slayers weren't supposed to have friends but if it weren't for Xander, she would have died at the hands of the master and it would have been game over at just sixteen. Her friends had helped her save the world over and over again.

She had a chance here to help train her own replacement. Watchers learnt about previous slayers and watchers from their diaries, slayers didn't. Buffy had the chance to pass her story on to someone who actually cared. Why didn't slayers have diaries? They didn't have to be as detailed as the watcher's diaries of course but a little something to leave to the next slayer? Some way to feel like you were making a difference and would be remembered...

She eventually fell asleep deep in her thoughts.

She woke up gasping for air in the early hours like usual. She glanced around to reassure herself that she was fine. The nightmares had been getting better but there was still a panic when she woke up that she may be underground. It wasn't the sort of thing you forgot.

She could hear a soft snoring from the other side of the wall and smiled to herself, it was reassuring to hear him just down the hall. She glanced at the clock and wondered how to kill time until it became an acceptable time to get up.

Giles got up at his usual time and made his way down to the kitchen. He stretched as he made his way down that stairs and then yelped in surprise when he spotted Buffy stood in his kitchen.

"Morning to you too." She commented.

"I didn't expect you to be up so early." He explained. She passed him a warm mug of tea. "Oh, thank you." He moved the other side of the counter into the kitchen and dug around for some bread to toast.

"I'm not so good with the sleeping in these days." She replied before eating another spoonful of her cereal.

"Nightmares?" he asked.

"Not so much anymore." She shrugged. "Just still a little wiggy waking up, you know?"

"What are you doing?" he asked noticing the notepad in front of her.

"Oh yeah, I stole one of your notebooks from your desk." She explained. "I made sure it was empty so that I wasn't ruining anything important."

"And may I ask why?" he asked, glancing over her shoulder.

"It's my slayer journal." She replied. "You watchers get diaries and I think slayers should too. I'm not going to fill mine with loads of stuff about demon languages and mystic stuff but just…you know bits of advice and stories for future slayers."

"Remarkable." He said, picking up his toast and sitting at the counter next to her. "That's actually a jolly good idea, what made you think of it?"

"I was thinking about when I was a new slayer and one of the biggest problems I had with it was the thought that I was replaceable. The fact that I was just one slayer called in a long line of them all called for however long it took them to die and then poof new slayer called." She explained. "To the council I was just a faceless weapon and it hurt. Leaving behind a journal with my story, my thoughts and advice for a new slayer makes me feel like I made a difference however small. Maybe if all slayers did the same they'd feel connected to other slayers and like they're making a difference too…or at least that there is something to remember them by."

"Buffy the difference you have made is huge. There are many people that will remember you." He told her leaning over and squeezing her hand briefly.

"And I know what I'm doing with Harriet too…as long as you agree to it." She told him looking a little uncertain.

"It's your decision Buffy." He told her.

"I know…but the plan I have sort of involves you too so…" she said nervously.

"And what is this plan of yours exactly?" he asked.

"I can't just drop my job on someone else, regardless of how long I've done it and how much I've given up." She told him. "But…if I continue doing this the way I have been in the past I will die again, for good this time. So, I want Harriet on board. I want to start her off as a trainee slayer working with me and then gradually shift things over to her as she gets the hang of it."

"It certainly sounds like a workable plan." He nodded.

"I'll always be a slayer, if the world needs me then I will always be there but it'll be nice to have some nights off. Let's face it; I can't get a job the way things are going. I tried it Giles, really! How can I get a decent job with only High school grades for starters, a likelihood that I will have to randomly vanish from work to fight some kind of hellmouth beastie and of course my late night patrols making me tired on the job. I need income to keep a roof over Dawn's head and since being the slayer doesn't include a paycheck, which is totally unfair by the way since watchers do…wait…" she trailed off. "Can slayers asked the council to pay them? I mean…I'm not going to follow every little order just to get a pay check since they don't like me but for future slayers? Do you think the council would pay them?"

"I imagine they would rather avoid it but if a slayer were to reach eighteen and request payment then she would probably win the case. After all, as you have pointed out, watchers do get a paycheck and expense account." He shrugged. "How do you think I managed to afford so many dry cleaning and replacement clothing bills?"

"I thought you were just offering to replace my clothes because you were being nice." She frowned. "You had an expense account and didn't tell me?!"

"It didn't seem like a good idea. There are limits on the expense account you know?" he smirked.

"Is it still valid?" she asked.

"In a way. I sent a full report back to the council when I arrived back here to confirm that you were back on duty once again and they reinstated my pay but I have yet to receive the details of the expense account." He told her.

"Do both you and Harriet's watcher get paid now?" she asked.

"Frederick? I would imagine so, although that may also need confirming with the council." He replied.

"Right so…I was thinking you be my watcher, and we kind of train with Harriet and her watcher and then once she gets into it we can start letting her take over a couple of patrols and see how it goes." She told him. "She gets to do the destiny thing but has people to help her learn it and to go to when she gets stuck, I get to have a bit more of a normal life but still do my part for the world. What do you think?"

"I think it sounds like you've made your decision." He nodded.

"So you'll still be my watcher?" she asked.

"If you want me to be then of course." He said draining the last of his tea.

"To me you'll always be my watcher." She smiled, closing her journal and getting up. "Are watchers allowed to date their slayers?"

"A-allowed?" he stammered. "As a rule not really. Usually though they just keep it a secret from the council."

"Usually?" she asked, placing her empty bowl in the sink and turning to look at him in surprise.

"W-well, a slayer and watcher have a very unique bond. It doesn't always happen but it isn't as uncommon as you might think. A slayer only has her watcher to truly understand what she goes through and so naturally it can lead to a relationship between them that would never have been otherwise." He explained.

"You mean because of the age thing?" she asked. "Because even if her watcher is older, a slayer is unlikely to live long enough for that to ever be a problem…"

"Well, there is that I suppose. I just meant that they may not have ever felt drawn to one another should they have never been watcher and slayer. For example if it were a high school teacher and student?" he explained.

"Depends on the teacher and student." She grinned. "Any teacher under forty was considered fair game. Including you."

"I'm not under forty." He told her honestly.

"I know, but you were." She smiled leaning over the counter to look at him. "You're twenty-two years older than me and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. Hey, I know guys my age that are in worse shape and nearly all of them are total jerks and losers." She traced her fingers over the creases at the corner of his eye and smiled. "I still want you."

"That makes me one incredibly lucky old man." He chuckled.

"Well you'd better not be too old to keep up in training because I want to see what this new slayer's got today." She told him before turning and heading back upstairs.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Notes: Just a quick note to say that I know there are two OC's that seem to be too close to the focus of the story but it's temporary, once everything is explained the focus will remain on our couple!

Disclaimer: I don't own it

Final reward 4

"Good, excellent form." Giles nodded at the younger slayer performing katas in front of him. He had watched Rebecca and Frederick's training routine and accessed the team as they went through warm up, work out and cool down. "Now let's see what you're like under a bit of pressure."

"Such as?" Frederick asked.

"Well, all her skills are fine, excellent in fact but you find that not many vampires follow a particular martial art form and also it looks like you two have done that exact routine enough times to know it by heart. You've done a good job training a potential Frederick but not you're not training a potential now, you're training a slayer." Giles told him. "Now she needs to be a bit more prepared for well...anything."

"I suppose she'll also need more training in focus now that she has supernatural abilities." Frederick nodded. "What do you suggest next?"

"Buffy can introduce a few pointers on her supernatural senses on a patrol, I think it would be easier explained from slayer to slayer and then you can explain in a bit more detail to uses and work with her on it from there." Giles told the older man. "She's your slayer of course and you get the final say on her training but I do think it would benefit her to work with Buffy."

"And for the combat?" the older man asked. "You think I should mix the styles a bit more?"

"Perhaps. Would you mind?" Giles asked, gesturing to the staffs.

"No, not at all go ahead." With the consent of the other watcher Giles passed a staff to Rebecca and lifted the other for himself.

"On three we will begin." he told her. "I want you to try to disarm me or to push me out of the marked area. One. Two. Three."

Buffy watched as the younger girl went straight for a low blow to knock her watcher off balance but he saw her move coming with plenty of time to avoid it. It took only fifty-seven seconds for her watcher to disarm Rebecca. She couldn't help the slight swell of pride she felt at that. Her watcher...he really was something.

"You rely to much on the familiar." he told the younger girl. "And on your strength alone. You aren't likely to beat me today, once you get the hang of it you will of course but today you won't. You are so used to the same moves that a new opponent has thrown you off. That is why you're going patrolling with Buffy tonight. You will have the chance to take on several different vampires perhaps even a demon or two. Each one will be different and if you struggle Buffy will be there."

"So, have you ever killed a vamp before?" Buffy asked, wandering over to Rebecca.

"No. They don't let you near a vampire for real until you're over eighteen unless you've been called. If you haven't been called you have to sign paperwork!" Harriet replied in horror. "I only turned eighteen last week so I haven't got there yet."

"Well looks like tonight's your lucky night. And you?" Buffy glanced at the girls watcher.

"Four, all in controlled circumstances of course." he replied. "But we shall hope it doesn't come down to me eh?"

"Right..." Buffy trailed off. Once again she felt grateful that Giles had been her watcher.

"Don't relax too soon Buffy, your turn." Giles spoke up gesturing for her to pick up the fallen staff. "Can't have you slacking off on your training in front of the new slayer now can we?"

"I wasn't slacking Giles I was dead." she replied bluntly.

"You chose to stay when you were back in the desert so now lets see if you still remember everything." he said. "Until one yields?"

"My favourite kind." she grinned.

"Ready. Go." with that their staffs met in the blink of an eye. To the pair observing them they were a marvel. Neither seemed to be holding back. Giles was the first disarmed but still managed to use his slayers own momentum to knock her down and acquire her weapon. He held the defensive as she kicked the staff against his chest. It wasn't until Buffy had him pinned on his front with his face to the mat, after they had grappled around on the ground for a while, that he finally shouted out. "Alright, I yield. Happy?"

"Very." she grinned, hopping off of him and offering him a hand up. "Ouch. I think you actually bruised me, watcher-mine."

He chuckled as she rubbed her lower back.

"Well that makes me feel rather old." Frederick murmured. "Good show Rupert, you're certainly more spry than I was at your age."

"Her watcher doesn't care about her." Buffy said quietly as they left the Magic box.

"He cares Buffy but...he is a bit of a council traditionalist. His duty is to train, advise and watch. It is hers to fight." Giles explained.

"How did I get so lucky?" she smiled softly taking his hand in hers as they walked.

"I would say it was more the council's own doing." he said with a bit of a smirk. "They knew that you were untrained and also wilful and...unique. So they sent the black sheep watcher to you hoping we'd both die pretty quickly and that the next slayer would be one of their pretrained and moulded girls."

"Black sheep?" she asked. "What on earth did you do?"

"You mean besides rebel in my youth, turning my back against then and dabbling in black arts? Or perhaps it was having my own opinions? It could have been when I started fighting with my slayer and caring about her beyond whether she lives or dies, or perhaps it could have been letting civilians get involved - teenagers no less? Of course then their was your eighteenth birthday. First I refused, then I threatened Quentin and then when I was forced to go through with it, I tell you about it before you can take the test. Are you surprised they sacked me?" he asked.

"So they paired us up to die and we show them what for?" she grinned. "I got the best watcher of the lot."

"The best watcher wouldn't have let his slayer die not once bit twice." he murmured.

"You would have gone in my place both times if it would have worked." she said confidently. "That makes you the best. You make me feel like I'm more than just a slayer, even if I still get a short life...at least I get to feel like I meant something."

"You mean everything." he said honestly. Buffy beamed up at him and leant up on tiptoes to kiss him briefly. "W-well I suppose we should get you home to Dawn."

"Yeah." she nodded. "I should probably apologise for how I've been acting huh?"

"It wasn't your fault Buffy. As long as you're alright now then Dawn will be happy." he told her as he opened the car door for her.

"Yeah, I'm alright." she nodded, and for the first time in a long time, she actually meant it. "I'm not leaping cartwheels or anything but I'm feeling better than I have in ages."

"I'm glad." he said as he closed the door. He made his way around and got in himself. "It'll take time."

"And we get to share the news of our shiny new gift." she grinned. "I like her, she seems pretty normal...for a slayer that is."

"She didn't begin training as a potential until she was fifteen so she's only had three years under the council's influence." he explained. "She seems to look up to you already, hopefully you two will get along swimmingly."

The journey to Revello Drive didn't take long and before she knew it she was hovering at the door nervously.

"Buffy?" he enquired, noticing her hesitation.

"Willow's here...I forgot about that, I don't want her to be looking at me like she expect me to be magically fixed." she sighed. She pushed the door open anyway. "Dawn? We're back!"

"Hey guys." Willow smiled as she came through from the kitchen. "All better Buffy? You look better."

"No Will, not all better." she replied before heading upstairs to find Dawn.

"Giles, is something wrong with Buffy?" the witch asked him, staring after her friend.

"You didn't contact her first, you didn't ask her permission." he told her.

"I didn't think I needed to ask permission to save a life." she replied defensively.

"You didn't save her life Willow, Buffy was already dead. She had moved on and you brought her back without trying to contact her first. You invoked forces that you had no right to and yes you brought Buffy back but at what price?" he asked staring down at her.

"We already dealt with the price. A stupid parasite type spirit that came back with her." she told him smugly. "Already fixed."

"And Buffy? You don't think that this has shaken her up at all?" he asked calmly, even though inside he was seething.

"Well she came back from hell, Angel took time, Buffy will too." she replied, looking slightly less sure of herself.

"Do you know what she was offered in the desert? The higher powers offered her the chance to died again and return to where she was, or to remain here. You ripped your friend from heaven because you didn't think to ask first. Her suffering now is because of you." he hissed. He hoped Buffy would forgive him for letting her secret out but Willow of all people needed to know. If there was a way to stop the path that she was on then this was it.

"Oh God..." Willow gasped, her knees gave out and he crouched down to her level to make sure that she was alright. "I didn't know...God Buffy..." He placed his hand on her shoulder as she cried. "What am I going to do?"

"Give her space and time, use that time to consider your actions. You need to work on how you use magic." he told her. "You have a natural talent, a natural gift for it but you've already tapped into something so dark it will have tainted the magic you have. You need to relearn magic the right way, from people who know it."

"And that's you is it?" she practically slat at him.

"Perhaps, perhaps not. There are better people than me to teach you." he told her. "Much of my own magic was taken from me by the council when I returned after my youth, it was tainted and they couldn't trust me with it so it was taken. I have been where you are Willow and I made some awful mistakes that I do not wish to see you repeat. Mine ended in death of a friend, is that where you want yours to lead?"

"Of course not, how can you ask me that?" she asked.

"I know a place, its about a five hour drive away but there's a coven there that maybe you and Tara should visit for a few days? You can ask them all questions, get the opinions of someone other than me and they can help you." he told her. "It's certainly worth a try at least, I think Buffy would appreciate that you're trying and also a couple of days of space."

"You want me gone?" she asked sadly.

"Of course not." he replied picturing the shy girl that used to spend so much time in the library. "But Buffy is the one who has been wronged, she has to gradually find things worth living for, things that bring her happiness. In heaven comfort and love is just there, in life it is fleeting. She needs to relearn how to live and it will take time. I think she needs to sort things out with Dawn first and to do that properly I think she needs you and Tara to take a step back."

He felt her flare of magic at her anger and hurt. She was worse than he had thought she was but he decided saying so was an extremely bad idea. He decided that he too should take the time to relearn his magic's, the right way this time not the way he had in his youth. Perhaps he would be of further use to Willow and Buffy if he did...

"I'm going to go and check on them. Perhaps you should go and have a talk with Tara, see what she thinks?" he suggested before heading upstairs himself.

He found Buffy and Dawn curled up on Dawn's bed in tears.

"Dawn, I love you." Buffy kept whispering to her.

"I'm sorry." Dawn sobbed.

"You didn't know and you didn't do anything Dawn." she told her. "We'll get through this. I'll do better now I swear but it's going to take a while to be the Buffy everyone wants me to be alright?"

"She chose to stay Dawn." he spoke from the doorway causing both sisters to look at him. "They offered her a chance to go back but she chose to stay, I would say that's a very big step in the right direction. I've never been so proud."

"You could've died again?" Dawn asked quietly.

"But I'm not, I'm staying here with you." Buffy told her firmly. "I got another reward instead."

"Reward?"

"A new slayer. There's a new slayer." Buffy told her pulling back to look at her sister seriously. "Giles and I are going to whip her and her watcher into shape and she's going to share the work load."

"Is that true?" Dawn asked looking to Giles. He nodded with a smile. "You mean you wont have to patrol every night?"

"For now yes but when the new girl gets the hang of it we can take turns." Buffy nodded. "At least I'll be able to get a job...hopefully."

Dawn leapt up off of the bed and threw her arms around Giles much to Buffy's amusement.

"Thank you! You're a hero, did you know that?" she grinned up at him.

"I didn't do much Dawn, really." he told her fondly, looking a little flushed.

"You came back and you helped." she said adamantly. "When you showed up at the magic box, Buffy hadn't shown that much emotion since she got back...not to anyone. She was really glad to see you, please say you're staying."

"I would think the fact that I have let a house to stay in would imply that I am." he replied.

Then afternoon was a pleasant one, it was just the three of them and Giles treated them to pizza. Buffy wondered what tomorrow would bring and how she would cope, she needed to find a job, face the others and somehow take responsibility for not just hers but Dawn's life. She hadn't been doing very well sit before she died and she'd been even worse since coming back...

The phone ringing interrupted them and Giles rose to answer it.

"Slow down, where are you now?" he asked. Buffy hadn't been listening until she heard the alarm in her watcher's voice. "We'll head over now, you have weapons yes?"

"What's going on?" she asked before he'd hung up the phone.

"We're on our way, do not leave the building." he said.

"Giles what's wrong?"

"Frederick is dead, Harriet is at the Magic shop. She thinks she lost them but she's not certain so we'd better hurry." he told her grimly.

Buffy didn't really know what to say to that so she simply followed him to the door.

"Dawn, be in bed by ten and don't let anyone other than the usual into the house." she told her sister on the way out.

When they reached the Magic Box nothing looked out of the ordinary, Giles unlocked the door and Buffy led the way in carefully.

"Harriet?" Giles called out.

"Oh thank God." a voice came from the back room. They followed it through and found Rebecca stood in the middle of the room with a sword in her hand.

"They obviously didn't follow you here." he observed. "We saw nothing on the way here."

"I broke in through the back door, sorry but I didn't know where else to go to." she told them. "I- I couldn't handle them all. I panicked and I- Frederick he..."

With that she sank to the floor silently.

"Where did it happen?" Buffy asked.

"Just down the road from the hotel. We had just eaten at that Indian place on the corner." she replied gravely staring at her hands. Buffy noticed the blood on her hands and hauled her tk her feet.

"Come on, lets get you sorted." she said leading her through to the small staff bathroom. She helped the younger girl wash her hands and then went and dug out some clean clothes from the bag in the training room. "Here, change your shirt."

"I'm supposed to be the slayer, I failed and he saved me. He died...saving me. Its supposed to be the other way around." she sobbed as tears came out at last.

"I know, I've been there." Buffy told her quietly. "When I first got called Giles wasn't my watcher, my last watcher died to save me from a vampire I wasn't ready to fight. I've never forgiven myself for it."

"I'm supposed to be the slayer, what am I supposed to do now?" she cried.

"You get changed, you get mad and then you come with me. We're going hunting and when we're done...then you can cry." Buffy said. "Get mad, that anger will take away the fear."

With that she headed back to the training room to gather weapons.

"Buffy?" she heard her watcher ask.

"He died saving her because she wasn't ready to take on that many alone." Buffy said angrily as she stuffed extra stakes into her pockets.

"It never leaves does it?" he asked softly knowing that she wasn't angry with Harriet bit with herself. "But whatever you're doing...are you sure its the best thing to do?"

"Nope, I'm not sure. But I think she needs it." she told him. "She needs to face the fear before it eats her alive. So we're going patrolling as planned and taking out those vampires while we're at it."

"And does she want to go?"

"By the time she walks out of that bathroom she'll be mad as hell and ready to go." she nodded. "You probably ought to let the council know, and maybe tell them not to send non-fighters to the hellmouth in future."

"They will send another watcher for her Buffy." he told her. "We don't get to make that choice."

"How about you make a recommendation?" she asked. "A rather firm one since now there's a new slayer technically we could off onto the sunset and leave the hellmouth in the hands of the new girl who hasn't slayed a vampire before."

"Blackmail you mean?" he asked raising his eyebrows. "And who would you recommend? Surely you don't want me to take on Harriet myself?"

"Nope, I want you around for my time off. I was thinking of giving someone else a second chance." she replied.

"Wesley?" he asked his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. "You want me to suggest the council reemploy Wesley after they fired him over Faith?"

"I want you to strongly recommend Giles, very strongly recommend." she nodded. "From what I hear he's changed quite a bit and I think he'd be a lot more willing to follow your lead now. The council needs a serious shake up in the watcher requirements, I say lets mould our own watchers."

"You're going to seriously piss of the council one day Buffy." he warned her.

"Really? You mean I haven't got there yet?" she asked. "Giles the council sit over in England with their books and order around young girls who not only don't know any better but get sent to die! These girls get basically told that if theyre called they'll be dead in a matter of years and no one helps them. No one else is willing to stand there with them every night...I say its time for a rather big change. From now on the council send watchers who fight or none at all."

"Wow...no wonder Travers hates you." Harriet's voice came from the doorway. "Don't get me wrong I'm not exactly his biggest fan but I always tried to stay on his good side...but he really doesn't like you guys. Bet he went spare when you started going out huh?"

"W-what?" Giles spluttered looking tk Buffy for help.

"Don't look at me, I haven't told anyone." she shrugged. "We haven't even gone out together."

"Going out as in dating." Harriet clarified.

"Oh...well we haven't gone on a date yet. So we haven't told anyone anything." she shrugged then got a wicked grin. "Can I tell him? Please?"

"No." he replied. "But on the subject on the council I should report to them. I trust I don't need to tell you to be careful?"

"Giles if I had a death wish I would have taken the offer." she grinned. "I have to live long enough to find out what Travers thinks of my new guy. Oh and could you head back to the house? You know with Dawn alone...I don't know how long patrol will take so there's no point you waiting around here for us "

Giles just rolled his eyes and headed to the front of the shop where the phone was.

"Let's do this." Buffy nodded to the younger girl and led her out. "Lead the way."

"Cordelia good you're there, is Welsey around?"

"Giles? Yeah he's here. The world isn't ending is it?" she asked.

"Not today no." he replied with a smile.

"Hello? Mr. Giles?"

"Wesley how many times must I tell you to call me Giles or Rupert?" he sighed.

"Yes, sorry. Can I help with something?" he asked.

"I'm not sure, I hope so." he told him before explaining the situation.

The phone call with the council hadn't gone particularly smoothly until he pointed out that the last watcher that they sent didn't last twenty-four hours on the hellmouth and that the new slayer was terrified of vampires so if Buffy decided to leave then things wouldn't look too good. Eventually they agreed to reinstate Wesley on a trial basis but there would be no back pay and they wanted thorough reports from both watchers.

"That was faster than I imagined it would be." Wesley said as he answered the phone for the second time that night. "Do I dare ask what their response to your plan was?"

"Oh they weren't happy of course, but they agreed." Giles replied.

"They did?" the younger man asked in surprise. "What in the heaven's did you say to them to make them do that?

"I mainly relayed what Buffy told me to actually. Her arguments were pretty persuasive." he replied.

"Buffy?"

"Oh yes, this was all her idea." he nodded. "Seems to think you deserve a second chance, if you want it of course."

"She said that?" Wesley asked quietly.

"Buffy seems to see the best in everyone, she sees something in you that makes her believe that you can be for Harriet what I was for her." Giles spoke seriously.

"Was?"

"Nevermind that, I'll be Buffy's watcher officially or not for as long as she wants me." he brushed the explanation of his and Buffy's shift in relationship off. "The fact of the matter is that there is a slayer here, she's good but she's young and inexperienced and she needs a watcher. I could train her but that wouldn't be fair to anyone, she deserves her own watcher, the question is will it be you?"

"When do you want me?" he asked after a moment of silence.

"As soon as you can." he replied.

"Alright, I'll come in a couple of days to give her a chance to grieve for Frederick. I had best make some arrangements."

"The arrangements can wait until you arrive. I have a room spare if necessary for a night or two, you just worry about getting here." he said before hanging up the phone.

He armed himself before leaving the shop just in case and headed back to the Summers residence. He found Dawn still up sat watching TV on the couch.

"Is everything OK? Where's Buffy?" Dawn asked as he walked in.

"Buffy has gone with Harriet on patrol to hopefully track down Fredericks attackers also." he told her. "They'll be back in a few hours."

"So you're on babysitting duty?" she asked.

"Not exactly, Buffy is most likely going to bring Harriet here with her after patrol, at least for tonight." he explained. "So we're all going to convene in the morning I believe to make a more thorough plan, although I for one think it would be best if she stayed with the two of you until her new watcher arrives at least."

"Cool with me as long as I don't get last spot in the bathroom." she shrugged.

Author's Notes: Sooooo one OC is dust already leaving Buffy and Giles with their foot in the door on their way to changing the council. The next chapter will have more Buffy/Giles moments I promise


End file.
